Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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