Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
