why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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