we're chasing vodka with high fives
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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