If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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