you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
