So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
