Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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