I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The Olympian is in my bed
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
