If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize