How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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