I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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