Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
