I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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