I don't think brook has ever known best
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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