I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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