forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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