Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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