Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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