College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
