This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
