I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need to calm my uterus...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
