Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We are two peas in an std pod
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
