I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize