Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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