im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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