You're so nebulous sometimes
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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