The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
