"it" just moved
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
