Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Are we still banned from the library?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
