hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
