No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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