Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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