I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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