I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
