Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
