Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
