If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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