my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
