you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
