There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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