remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
