it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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