she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
