Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
