the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
