I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
