some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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