i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
