I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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