I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
