1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
