question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
