I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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