i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
