so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
