Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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