some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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