And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize