you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
