I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
