I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize