Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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