But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
