sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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