Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
