What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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