Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
